This week’s edition of COURTNEY’S OPINIONS ON THINGS
So I’m gonna go on a little bit of a rant. I’m so done with people saying “relationships aren’t nearly as romantic as they used to be” because they’re still fucking romantic as shit and you’re just not doing it right if you don’t think you can still find romance if it’s not 1926. Here is me going through the 10 habits we should “bring back” even though most of them never left:
1. Coming to the door to pick someone up. Newsflash, that still happens? Um???
2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date. If you want to dress nicely, then dress nicely, and request your date do the same… There’s nothing wrong with wearing a super fancy outfit to go out, feel free!
3. Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date. Okay so admittedly, I haven’t experienced anyone doing this. My current relationship dates back to high school, and at that point people were just “do you want to be my gf” and it’s more awkward and less graceful. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t give your date something, be them male or female. Give your dude some nicely packaged chocolate - or are you waiting for prince charming to ride in and save you from taking control??
4. Going dancing that’s not grinding on a grimy club floor. For anyone shaming grinding, sit down. It can be just as cute and just as fun as going anywhere else. So stop. You can still go dancing wherever you want, couples do it all the time! Jeez.
5. Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out”. This goes back to sounding like this was written by someone in high school. Relationships are weird and foreign and you can’t ask a 15-year-old boy to rehearse his script perfectly and recite it to you in Shakespearean English. And other awkward people that just don’t know how to ask people out.
6. Additionally, being clear about when you’re “going steady”. Heyyyyy guess what, a lot of people are! You know what else? RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED. There’s no switch from “casually dating” to “boyfriend/girlfriend”. It’s a weird transition, and you can’t expect everyone to be at the same emotional point. I was mutually exclusive with my guy for so long but he wasn’t ready to really commit and be serious, so sometimes you just have to take it as it comes.
7. Romantic gestures like writing poems. Then date a fucking poet. Your partner will find their own ways of being romantic, don’t be a dildo.
8. Turning electronics off and just being with one another. I don’t know if I really have to say anything about this. It happens frequently among people. Especially when people are being intimate, because who wants to ruin that moment?!
9. The general concept of asking permission for things. wut?
10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time. This is stupid. In this day and age, sex is not a sacred thing. Most of us know that it’s a large part of our lives. And so now, when you’re starting to get intimate with someone, yes you’re going to assume you’re going to get sexual gratification at some point. Not to say that you’re entitled to force that idea on someone else, but it’s pretty easy to think that hand-holding and kissing and cuddling will evolve into more. Not to mention sex is an essential part of a healthy relationship - sex keeps people happy! I don’t think that when courting someone it is appropriate to expect to get laid on the third date, or the fifth date, or at any set date until the relationship blossoms and progresses that way. The biggest thing is communication!!! If you want to have sex, you should tell the person that. If you don’t want to have sex until you’re married - or not at all - you should tell the person that! So everyone is clear on what’s going on.
So what we can take away from my angry typing:
-Take life by the balls and do whatever you want on your dates because you’re in complete control and waiting for a poetic prince to land on your lap is going to leave you waiting a long time
-Don’t be in a high school relationship and expect astounding romantic gestures because everyone is just bumbling around not really sure what they’re doing
-Communicate with words. If you want something, ask for it. If you want to be clear on something, express it. I mean I don’t know what I can say other than lying around waiting for your date to know what you want is pretty pathetic and likely won’t work. (Believe me, I do it all the time and it never works and I just end yelling and he just ends up shrinking into a ball of apologies)